Countdown to Sadness

An Angel

An angel flew away to heaven today,

An angel very close to my heart.

An angel that lived and loved always,

An angel very close to my heart.

 

An angel flew away to heaven today,

And took with her all of my heart.

An angel of flesh and blood they say,

And the anguish tears me apart.

 

An angel flew away to heaven today,

Leaving me empty and alone.

An angel wasn’t supposed to die this way,

My heart is a bleeding stone.

 

An angel flew away to heaven today …


 

Well, it’s that time of year. The time in between when I should be celebrating a birthday (April 24th) and the day I mourn a death (June 8th.)

I’m 60-years old and should have been the mother of two daughters, but instead, I have only memories of one and the frenetic pace of life as seen through the eyes of a 19-year old. Oh, believe me; I’m not complaining. I treasure each and every day because I truly understand how brief life is and how much people are the true wealth we accumulate in this journey we call life.

I keep busy. I work three jobs and write. I published my first novel in 2016 through Lulu Publishing Service. I was a novice and knew nothing about the world of Indie Publishing, but I learned.

Last year, I decided to self-publish. I went to CreateSpace and started to play. Yes, learning is playing because I keep that 6-year old little girl alive in me that way. I learned to format the text, edit photos, and design book covers. I am pleased with the resulting two books – A Fool’s Book of Wisdom and Concrete Memories – and I am proud to say it provided the impetus for me to go back and work on a 2nd edition of The Heretic’s Child. I will be re-releasing it with the 2-time award winning cover just as soon as Lulu takes down the first edition from Amazon.

Of course, it’s me so nothing goes smoothly. Right now, CreateSpace needs proof that I hold the copyright on The Heretic’s Child, so I emailed the certificate to them. Unfortunately, they’ve suspended the edition and I’m hoping that they re-approve publication before Lulu takes down the first edition. In the meantime, I wait.

I know, we should all have such silly problems.

So, what’s in the future?

I have another book of poetry, Daytime Dreams. That should be coming out in June 2018. It will be available in eBook and paperback through Amazon. A book of short horror stories, Park Tales, should be out by Fall 2018. Last and by no means least, The Heretic’s Lies should be released late 2018 or early 2019.

I will leave you with one more poem of mine.


 

Mother

Mother, I looked to you for love,

I found it.

 

Mother, I looked to you for wisdom,

I found it.

 

Mother, I looked to you for comfort,

I found it.

 

Mother, I looked to you for shelter,

I found it.

 

All these things you gave me.

All these things I needed.

But, you never gave me you.

The lady beneath, the one true you.

 

Mother, I needed acceptance,

I’m looking.

 

Mother, I needed understanding,

I’m looking.

 

Mother, I needed support,

I’m looking.

 

Mother, I needed respect,

I’m looking.

 

All these things I needed.

All these things denied me.

And now it’s too late to find,

The lady beneath, the one true you.

 

I’m lost and can’t find you.

 

Mother

 


As always, my work is dedicated to the memory of my mother, JoAnn Mary Fusello, to the memory of my daughter, Adrianna Anastasia, to the memory of my grandpa, Cal N. Peters, and to the promise of a wonder-filled life for my daughter, Trystin Ariel.


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PARKLAND

We Call BS

Parkland.

There. I said it.

Parkland.

Seventeen lives ended that day and much more are in the hospital trying to regain their health.

Parkland.

Just another mass shooting.

NO.

This time is different.

Why?

I’d like to think it’s because of the young adults at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School and maybe it is.

Another possibility is that as a matter of mathematical probability, it was a certainty that one of these shootings would be the one where people could no longer accept the death count. The idea of body bags filled with children would cause people to demand that the madness end.

Did that happen?

NO.

The victims themselves have stood up and demanded change. The reason these victims are different is that they are not just children, they are young adults. The babies that were murdered at Sandy Hook were too young and gone. Grieving parents were the ones to speak for them and America just wasn’t ready to listen.

We’re ready.

The young adults of Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School have said enough. Their voices are calling out and demanding change. They are intelligent and passionate and their demands are righteous.

We call BS!

I’m 60-years old and the mother of 2 daughters. My first daughter would have been 40 on April 24th and my second daughter will be 19 on April 9th.

My first child was killed by a drunk driver on June 1, 1984. She was 6-years old. My mother and grandfather were in the car with her and they died as well. The drunk driver was 24-years old and the father of 3. He had been suspended for two weeks for drinking on the job and the Monday before the accident was his first day back at work. He had never been assigned a company vehicle before his suspension, but his first day back, they assigned a work truck to him. That Friday, he went out and had some beers with his friends, got in his company truck and drove home at 85 miles­-per-hour, crossed over the center divider as he rounded a curve and hit my mom’s car head-on. My mom and grandpa died instantly and my beautiful daughter lived one week.

What is the purpose of my story? Well, in 1984, there was an epidemic drunk driving deaths. There wasn’t a week that would go by that you wouldn’t hear on the news about another death. People became outraged and tougher laws were enacted. The only difference between making laws to restrict driving under the influence and gun control laws is the NRA. People need to take their rage over these mass shootings and channel them into protests over gun laws. March in the streets, sit-in at lawmakers offices, write to your lawmakers, call your lawmakers, talk about it at the water cooler, write about it on social media, yell it from the highest mountains, and don’t stop until our lawmakers hear you.

You can and must continue to protest 45 and his horrific policies, but the true American carnage must end and it needs to end now.

I apologize to the victims if it seems that I’m making this about me, but that’s not the point of this blog. The point is that things can change if the people use the power of their voices and votes. It has worked in the past and it can work now.

BE THE CHANGE

WE CALL BS!

Here is my interview with Nyasia A. Maire

My thanks to Fiona Mcvie!

authorsinterviews

Hello and welcome to my blog, Author Interviews. My name is Fiona Mcvie.

Fiona: Let’s get you introduced to everyone, shall we? Tell us your name. What is your age?

Nyasia: My name is Nyasia A. Maire and I will celebrate my 60th birthday this November!

Fiona: Where are you from?

Nyasia: I was born early one Monday morning in Encino, California and have made Studio City, California my home for 31 years.

Fiona: A little about yourself (i.e.: your education, family life, etc.)

Nyasia: I began writing at an early age and have never stopped. Reading is one of my great passions, an extension of my love of words. My favorite genres are science fiction, horror and fantasy (books or movies.) And, as strange as it may seem to some, a love of all things computer.

I graduated high school in 1975 and attended college for two semesters…

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My Annual Plea to NOT drink and drive!

“O wonder! How many goodly creatures are there here! How beauteous mankind is! O brave new world! That has such people in’t!” 

Miranda’s Speech from “The Tempest,” Act V, Scene I by William Shakespeare

~~~

I believe in the basic goodness of people. Truly, I do. I believe that within each one of us lies the drive to do the right thing, to place the needs of others before our own; to step in and lend a helping hand to those in need. Sometimes this force lies dormant for the span of an entire life, never finding a situation that calls it into the fore, but when circumstances arise, this compulsion to do right cause the most milquetoast of us to stand tall and do the most amazing things.

My mother taught me this and she lived this philosophy.

With that said, I feel the need to share the following with the hope that it can save one life and many people the accompanying and unending sorrow.

On June 1, 1984, a drunk driver hit a car containing three members of my family: my maternal grandfather, my mother and my daughter.

The paramedics reported that my mother, grandfather and the drunk driver were DOA. My daughter survived. They transported the unconscious six-year old to the hospital in critical condition. She regained consciousness only once. She was in pain and frightened by the intubation tube that prevented her from speaking, but when our gaze met, I saw awareness in her beautiful sapphire eyes. My baby looked back at me and she knew me. Then her eyelids slid closed, never to open again. Just as quietly as she lived, my baby silently slipped into a coma and there was nothing I could do to help her.

On April 24, 1978 at 1:52 a.m., she came into this world and on June 8, 1984 at 10:24 a.m., she left it.

There is no closure. This is a pain that never ends. A sadness that becomes more intense with the passing of years. It just gets easier to hide from the living that walk around me. But, it is there, hiding not so deeply inside me. Every day, the pain consumes a little bit more of me and after 33 years, I cannot help but wonder how much of my heart remains.

PLEASE, DO NOT DRINK & DRIVE!

~~~

 Memorial Photo

~~~

Book Reviews – From the Other Side

phantom

On December 27, 2007, I left a review for a writer on FanFiction.net. The title of the story was (and is) “Leitmotif.” The author’s pseudonym is “iamphantomgirl.” From the nom de plume, you’ve probably guessed that the fan fiction was about Phantom of the Opera. Yes, I’ve read (and written) fan fiction. I feel there’s nothing wrong with reading other people’s takes on character you know and love.

With that being said, I remembered writing a review of one of the chapters for the aforementioned story. Not quite sure why, but I thought it might make a nice blog topic. On FanFiction.net, a person writes their stories chapter by chapter and the readers have the ability to leave reviews chapter by chapter.

In the chapter that I am reviewing, the author killed off a main character. I am not a fan of killing off characters. I feel, well, read the review. It speaks for itself:

♦♦♦

So, I take it that Meg’s death is the tragedy you mentioned in your story description. “The Siege of Paris forces the ghost to become a man and to take responsibility for those he loves. After a tragedy sends him to America, he finds a new life and a new love…” While I understand the need for a tragedy of truly epic proportion to drive the plot of your story, I would caution you not to rely on killing characters on a regular basis. It is a seductive trap because it is all too easy to solve a plot complication (or create a plot complication) by killing a character.

Strangely enough, Stephen King’s book, “Bag of Bones” delves into this topic and even though I read the book almost ten years ago, the idea remains fresh in my mind. The following is a synopsis of “Bag of Bones” from Books and Writers by Bamber Gascoigne:

“Bag of Bones (1998) deals with the grief process in an uncompromising way. In Bag of Bones, King returns to the theme of the loss of a family member, then adds the classic haunted house and familiar elements from his previous works: a small town where people know more than they tell, a secret collective of the guilty and a hero who can’t avoid his confrontation with evil. Hidden deep within the village of Sarah Laughs are old crimes, sins and secrets. All are gradually revealed to the reader through an analysis of the conscious and unconscious mind of the writer’s main character, as if he were spread out on Freud’s couch.

Playing with fire, King plunges into the mind of Mike Noonan, an author who suffers from writer’s block. Noonan’s wife, Jo, died unexpectedly from a brain aneurism, which causes him to suffer panic attacks every time he turns on his computer. Needing to escape the painful memories of the city, Mike retreats to his cabin in the village of Sara Laughs, where he and Jo spent happy summers together. There, Mike meets a young, widowed mother, Mattie, and her daughter, Kyra, whom he helps in a custody battle with the child’s grandfather.

Mattie is one of the liveliest characters in King’s story. Her sudden death, while a logical twist of the plot, comes like an electric shock to the reader. And, King meant for Mattie’s murder to shock the reader. In the last pages of the novel, King speaks through Mike and returns to the issue of Mattie’s death. Mike says, as an explanation why he no longer writes, that ‘to think I might have written such a hellishly convenient death in a book, ever, sickens me.’

Bag of Bones continues the series of books by King that explore the writing process and the inner workings of an author’s mind. The Shining, Misery, The Dark Half and now, Bag of Bones are among his most revealing and personal works.

King is not among those writers who claim that they don’t have time to read. Bag of Bones offers a delightful analysis of Herman Melville’s story Bartleby, and comments about various books and a number of “real life” authors. Among those included in the story is author and poet, Thomas Hardy. Hardy stopped writing novels at the peak of his career and turned solely to writing poetry. A quote, attributed to Hardy, states that the most brilliantly drawn character in a novel is but a bag of bones.”

Sorry about the long-winded review, but as a mother who lost her six year old daughter to a drunk driver, I can tell you that there are no words that can sufficiently express the devastation a parent experiences when a child dies. And, to lose a child to an act of violence…again, words fail.

On the positive side, your story evoked a strong response from me…strong…not negative, so, I end this by saying, well done, my friend! Well done…

♦♦♦

Even after 10 years I remember the story and the review. A good story moves us. A great story stays with us – always.

♦♦♦

Check out my latest novel, “The Heretic’s Child,” available at Amazon.com.

You can also check out my fan fiction at FanFiction.net. If you run a search for my name, you’ll find my Author’s Page and it has a listing of my silly little ditties. The stories are free. The only one I really recommend is “The Perfect Solution.” The others, well, I’ll give myself a break and say that I was new to the genre when I wrote, “Christine dans Deux” and leave it at that. The other, “The Crystal Rainbow” was ruined by a hard drive crash. I have a strange habit of writing the first chapter and soon after, the ending of the story comes into my mind and I have to write it. I had already written the ending of the story (and had no back-up – shame on me!) when the crash sent it to story nirvana. For the life of me, I can’t remember what I wrote, so that story is good up to the end and the end just kind of fizzles. Someday, maybe, I’ll re-write the ending.

Thank you for taking the time to read my blog. Best wishes to all!

~ny

‘Trump is going to snap’: a rejoinder

Infinite Coincidence

The post I wrote two days ago in the first hour after waking up has proven to be hugely popularand so is generating a lot of responses. Thank you to everyone who has liked, shared and commented so far.I’m endeavouring to reply to all the comments on the site but it’s beginning to geta bit out of hand. I want to be sure in myself that I haven’t misled anyone with what I wrote. In particular I’dhate to be responsible for any sense of complacency. Here are some nagging reservations I have about what I wrote, plus some stuff I missed out.

  1. A lot of people are saying that Pence is worse: more rational, more stable, but with an equally psychotic agenda. Some of the things he stands for and has implemented in relation to women’s rights would make the Taliban nudge each other and raise an eyebrow. He would…

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Author Teams

campfire

So, what’s an author team?

That’s easy it’s a group of Indie Authors that team up to help each other generate interest in their books. I decided to join a team sponsored by Books Go Social. We’re one of the first teams, so we’re still ironing out the wrinkles, but I believe this is a wonderful idea and am hoping it will help all of us sell more books. *Fingers crossed!*

One of my fellow authors, Chris Walters, made a Christmas Recommendation blog and I’d like to share it with you, so here it is:

Author Chris Walters Blog

Of course, my book is featured as well as several other authors on my team.

We’re Indie Authors and we’re proud!

Please check us out!